A parody on Christian groups and Da Vinci
A super dilemma
The new Superman movie must be banned at any cost!
AS a parent of three, I am increasingly concerned about the spate of movies coming our way that may influence our kids.
.
Take for instance this upcoming movie, which is fiction masquerading as fact, about a baby from a faraway place who comes to earth, and grows up possessing supernatural powers that he uses to save the world.
.
Yes, of course, I am talking about the new Superman movie, Superman Returns. I think we should ban this movie. At the very least, try to get an NC16 rating for it.
.
Young, impressionable minds may watch this "work of fiction" and believe that Superman actually exists! Then we will have to deal with an epidemic of young people who think they too can fly! Or worse, think they should walk around wearing their underwear outside! Think of how this will rend the very fabric of society.
.
I suggest that all parents gather to fight this menace, firstly, by confiscating all the red underwear from their children's wardrobe.
.
Secondly, burn any blankets or towels that can be used as a cape.
.
Thirdly, change all your bunk beds to single deckers. That way if your 16-year-olds try to fly, they will have a shorter distance to fall.
.
Some of you may say, but the Superman comic and the movie are just works of fiction! Ah, but beneath that comic is an organisation bent on attacking our beliefs and morals! Using pop culture, they hope to make us believe untruthful things such as in people who come from other planets, in super-beings who can fly, and that wearing glasses can disguise you from your loved ones.
.
You may think we are over-reacting. You may be thinking, please lah, the truth about man not being able to fly unassisted has survived thousands of years. Many have tried to prove otherwise, but failed.
.
You may be thinking: "Why, I even heard some people were martyred and fed to lions in order to force them to renounce their belief that man cannot fly. That man cannot fly is a Fortress of Truth that has withstood the winds of time and history. So, why the fuss over a movie?"
.
I tell you why. Because Superman is a very attractive hero to kids, and even some adults, are likely to believe him. So, I have taken the liberty of organising a Parents Against Superman Teaching Obscene Reasoning. Together we can lobby the authorities to ban all things that go against our beliefs.
.
As part of our efforts to debunk any untruths that the Superman movie may teach our kids, we will be organising seminars that demonise the creator of the character, dig up dirt on him and call him names. We will also be teaching all members of our group the right things to say, or think, when confronted with questions about Superman.
.
"But who made this comic book and a movie into a Bible on science and flight?" I hear you ask. You may think this is a work of fiction, or pop culture. But I tell you, when an unsuspecting person who knows little about science reads this comic and watches this movie, he will be more likely to believe the falsehoods there. Before you know it, he will start believing: "Yes, man really can leap over buildings in a single bound." When in truth, it takes many bounds to leap over a building.
.
"Surely, by creating a fuss over this movie, we are giving it more credence or publicity than it deserves?" you ask.
.
We don't care. It is the principle of the whole thing. We must stand firm against the tyranny of this evil. Even if it helps the creators make more money from the publicity. Say no to red underwear and men in tights!
.
"But if people watch the Superman movie, maybe they will get interested in science and ask questions and actually investigate the theories of flight and other fascinating aspects of physics?" you ask. We cannot risk this. They may get brainwashed! So, we tell everyone not to watch it. It is safer that way. "But I heard some people say the movie and even the book is not very good to begin with. Won't your actions just make them look credible?"
.
Surely not. I think it will make them look even more untrue, and then people will stop reading this trash and believing silly things. We must remove and ban stuff that is wrong, so that we don't have people doing dangerous things such as thinking for themselves, investigating facts and discovering the world of research. They may learn the wrong things, then how?
.
So rally behind me, and fight this blight upon our culture. We must protect our children from wrongful flight and swollen heads. Let us be the kryptonite to the Superman movie. And when we are successful with that, let us start on the next movie, X-Men 3. How can people be taught that a mutant race is possible? Ban that one next!
.
mr brown is the accidental author of a popular website that has been documenting the dysfunctional side of Singapore life since 1997. He thinks Batman is a better superhero.
The new Superman movie must be banned at any cost!
Note the sarcasm in the first 2 paragraphs:
AS a parent of three, I am increasingly concerned about the spate of movies coming our way that may influence our kids.
Take for instance this upcoming movie, which is fiction masquerading as fact, about a baby from a faraway place who comes to earth, and grows up possessing supernatural powers that he uses to save the world....
And also this:
So, I have taken the liberty of organising a Parents Against Superman Teaching Obscene Reasoning. (KH: Shorten it and you get PASTOR)
haha...
The new Superman movie must be banned at any cost!
AS a parent of three, I am increasingly concerned about the spate of movies coming our way that may influence our kids.
.
Take for instance this upcoming movie, which is fiction masquerading as fact, about a baby from a faraway place who comes to earth, and grows up possessing supernatural powers that he uses to save the world.
.
Yes, of course, I am talking about the new Superman movie, Superman Returns. I think we should ban this movie. At the very least, try to get an NC16 rating for it.
.
Young, impressionable minds may watch this "work of fiction" and believe that Superman actually exists! Then we will have to deal with an epidemic of young people who think they too can fly! Or worse, think they should walk around wearing their underwear outside! Think of how this will rend the very fabric of society.
.
I suggest that all parents gather to fight this menace, firstly, by confiscating all the red underwear from their children's wardrobe.
.
Secondly, burn any blankets or towels that can be used as a cape.
.
Thirdly, change all your bunk beds to single deckers. That way if your 16-year-olds try to fly, they will have a shorter distance to fall.
.
Some of you may say, but the Superman comic and the movie are just works of fiction! Ah, but beneath that comic is an organisation bent on attacking our beliefs and morals! Using pop culture, they hope to make us believe untruthful things such as in people who come from other planets, in super-beings who can fly, and that wearing glasses can disguise you from your loved ones.
.
You may think we are over-reacting. You may be thinking, please lah, the truth about man not being able to fly unassisted has survived thousands of years. Many have tried to prove otherwise, but failed.
.
You may be thinking: "Why, I even heard some people were martyred and fed to lions in order to force them to renounce their belief that man cannot fly. That man cannot fly is a Fortress of Truth that has withstood the winds of time and history. So, why the fuss over a movie?"
.
I tell you why. Because Superman is a very attractive hero to kids, and even some adults, are likely to believe him. So, I have taken the liberty of organising a Parents Against Superman Teaching Obscene Reasoning. Together we can lobby the authorities to ban all things that go against our beliefs.
.
As part of our efforts to debunk any untruths that the Superman movie may teach our kids, we will be organising seminars that demonise the creator of the character, dig up dirt on him and call him names. We will also be teaching all members of our group the right things to say, or think, when confronted with questions about Superman.
.
"But who made this comic book and a movie into a Bible on science and flight?" I hear you ask. You may think this is a work of fiction, or pop culture. But I tell you, when an unsuspecting person who knows little about science reads this comic and watches this movie, he will be more likely to believe the falsehoods there. Before you know it, he will start believing: "Yes, man really can leap over buildings in a single bound." When in truth, it takes many bounds to leap over a building.
.
"Surely, by creating a fuss over this movie, we are giving it more credence or publicity than it deserves?" you ask.
.
We don't care. It is the principle of the whole thing. We must stand firm against the tyranny of this evil. Even if it helps the creators make more money from the publicity. Say no to red underwear and men in tights!
.
"But if people watch the Superman movie, maybe they will get interested in science and ask questions and actually investigate the theories of flight and other fascinating aspects of physics?" you ask. We cannot risk this. They may get brainwashed! So, we tell everyone not to watch it. It is safer that way. "But I heard some people say the movie and even the book is not very good to begin with. Won't your actions just make them look credible?"
.
Surely not. I think it will make them look even more untrue, and then people will stop reading this trash and believing silly things. We must remove and ban stuff that is wrong, so that we don't have people doing dangerous things such as thinking for themselves, investigating facts and discovering the world of research. They may learn the wrong things, then how?
.
So rally behind me, and fight this blight upon our culture. We must protect our children from wrongful flight and swollen heads. Let us be the kryptonite to the Superman movie. And when we are successful with that, let us start on the next movie, X-Men 3. How can people be taught that a mutant race is possible? Ban that one next!
.
mr brown is the accidental author of a popular website that has been documenting the dysfunctional side of Singapore life since 1997. He thinks Batman is a better superhero.
The new Superman movie must be banned at any cost!
Note the sarcasm in the first 2 paragraphs:
AS a parent of three, I am increasingly concerned about the spate of movies coming our way that may influence our kids.
Take for instance this upcoming movie, which is fiction masquerading as fact, about a baby from a faraway place who comes to earth, and grows up possessing supernatural powers that he uses to save the world....
And also this:
So, I have taken the liberty of organising a Parents Against Superman Teaching Obscene Reasoning. (KH: Shorten it and you get PASTOR)
haha...
posted by TeE at 1:10 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home